Chapter 9
February 5th, found me back in Dr. G’s office. It had been almost two months since we last talked. I was now going to be prepped on everything I could expect along with any potential complications from my upcoming surgery in exactly three weeks.
Like our previous meetings Dr. G mapped everything out in detail and answered all my questions. Doctors having no time for their patients, electing for quantity over quality was just a myth dealing with Dr. G. My actual surgery would be approx. six hours long and would require an additional 7 to 10 day hospital stay.
With all my previous treatments completed, the hope is that the tumour had shrunk enough to remove it with the least amount of complications. There are many delicate nerves in the pelvic area which control bladder and bowel movements as well as sexual function.
The last thing I wanted was not being able to control bathroom functions while at the same time not being able to perform bedroom functions.
I assumed another MRI would be ordered to determine the size of the remaining tumour, but Dr. G said it did not matter. Either way my big operation was a go on February 26th. I would not be having any more chemo or radiation, it is what it is.
Hopefully, my tumour had shrunk from a tennis ball to the size of a pea.
I would also be having a colostomy.
Like our previous meetings Dr. G mapped everything out in detail and answered all my questions. Doctors having no time for their patients, electing for quantity over quality was just a myth dealing with Dr. G. My actual surgery would be approx. six hours long and would require an additional 7 to 10 day hospital stay.
With all my previous treatments completed, the hope is that the tumour had shrunk enough to remove it with the least amount of complications. There are many delicate nerves in the pelvic area which control bladder and bowel movements as well as sexual function.
The last thing I wanted was not being able to control bathroom functions while at the same time not being able to perform bedroom functions.
I assumed another MRI would be ordered to determine the size of the remaining tumour, but Dr. G said it did not matter. Either way my big operation was a go on February 26th. I would not be having any more chemo or radiation, it is what it is.
Hopefully, my tumour had shrunk from a tennis ball to the size of a pea.
I would also be having a colostomy.
A colostomy is basically a bag that is worn outside the lower stomach/abdomen to collect feces. I was going to need a good six months for my colon to heal. My tumour was about 7 cms from the anal verge which is the polite way of saying asshole. Dr. G told me he would not know until the actual surgery if my bag would be permanent or temporary.
Tumour removal would require clear margins or no cancer cells in the area outside and around the actual tumour. In a perfect world sphincter muscles that control bowel movements would be preserved. But, if clear margins required removing the sphincter muscles then my asshole gets sewn up tight and I get the permanent shit bag.
Actually in a perfect world, I would not even know what a fuck’n sphincter muscle was.
Cancer has a great way of increasing one's vocabulary. I was going to learn many new words going forward.
To be honest the idea of a bag really freaked me out. How was I going to play hockey with a bag of shit tucked inside my hockey pants?
Tumour removal would require clear margins or no cancer cells in the area outside and around the actual tumour. In a perfect world sphincter muscles that control bowel movements would be preserved. But, if clear margins required removing the sphincter muscles then my asshole gets sewn up tight and I get the permanent shit bag.
Actually in a perfect world, I would not even know what a fuck’n sphincter muscle was.
Cancer has a great way of increasing one's vocabulary. I was going to learn many new words going forward.
To be honest the idea of a bag really freaked me out. How was I going to play hockey with a bag of shit tucked inside my hockey pants?
I had visions of going into the corner, getting hit and the bag exploding.
Yikes, shit everywhere.
Yikes, shit everywhere.
For sure I would now be known as the shitty player in the group.
Dr. G reassured me that he would do his best to prevent the permanent bag. He also made it quite clear that one can live a pretty normal life with a colostomy.
Yeah right, easy for him to say.
I was also going to have to purchase a pair of Anti-Embolism or T.E.D stockings for my hospital stay. T.E.D stockings are long, tight fitting stockings that place mild static pressure on my legs to prevent clotting while I am lying in a hospital bed for up to ten days.
Maybe, just maybe a Peter Pan audition could be in my future if I beat this cancer.
Colon surgery of any kind requires your digestive system to be completely empty. Just like the prep before my first colonoscopy, the same MoviPrep would be used to clean me out before my big operation. The only difference this time was unlike the trip to Subway after I was diagnosed, I would now have to go eight to ten days without any solid food. I could not imagine going that long without food.
And by the way, Jell-O, broth and ice are not food.
Seeing that I was now living with a life threatening disease and if I survive then a life altering disease, I needed more info on my surgeon Dr. G.
Dr. G reassured me that he would do his best to prevent the permanent bag. He also made it quite clear that one can live a pretty normal life with a colostomy.
Yeah right, easy for him to say.
I was also going to have to purchase a pair of Anti-Embolism or T.E.D stockings for my hospital stay. T.E.D stockings are long, tight fitting stockings that place mild static pressure on my legs to prevent clotting while I am lying in a hospital bed for up to ten days.
Maybe, just maybe a Peter Pan audition could be in my future if I beat this cancer.
Colon surgery of any kind requires your digestive system to be completely empty. Just like the prep before my first colonoscopy, the same MoviPrep would be used to clean me out before my big operation. The only difference this time was unlike the trip to Subway after I was diagnosed, I would now have to go eight to ten days without any solid food. I could not imagine going that long without food.
And by the way, Jell-O, broth and ice are not food.
Seeing that I was now living with a life threatening disease and if I survive then a life altering disease, I needed more info on my surgeon Dr. G.
Was he the best man for the job?
Would my odds be better using a surgeon from the Cancer Centre in Barrie?
Dr. G was thorough, he was kind and there was no doubt he knew what he was talking about.
But was he a good surgeon?
I talked to numerous people in Bracebridge about Dr. G and I asked many questions. It seemed like everyone knew him or of him. I did not hear one negative comment.
He is an educated well respected professional doctor, an ace surgeon trained in India.
“We are very lucky to have him here in Bracebridge” I heard often from so many residents.
A few nurses who worked with him at the hospital told me without hesitation that if they needed surgery, Dr. G would be their first choice.
The clincher for me, the day I knew he would be my surgeon without a doubt was that day in his office.
While my body was healing internally, I noticed some strange things about my poop. I started noticing little gristle opaque chunks appearing in the bowl.
This was good.
Those little chunks were pieces of the tumour breaking off. It was proof that the chemo/rad was still working weeks after my last treatment.
I also began to notice little pieces of my guts in the bowl mixed in with the chunks. Oh my God, something was seriously wrong, I was now shitting out my intestines. I carefully picked the pieces of my intestines out of the toilet with tweezers. I washed them carefully under warm water; pat dried them and wrapped them in a paper towel.
But was he a good surgeon?
I talked to numerous people in Bracebridge about Dr. G and I asked many questions. It seemed like everyone knew him or of him. I did not hear one negative comment.
He is an educated well respected professional doctor, an ace surgeon trained in India.
“We are very lucky to have him here in Bracebridge” I heard often from so many residents.
A few nurses who worked with him at the hospital told me without hesitation that if they needed surgery, Dr. G would be their first choice.
The clincher for me, the day I knew he would be my surgeon without a doubt was that day in his office.
While my body was healing internally, I noticed some strange things about my poop. I started noticing little gristle opaque chunks appearing in the bowl.
This was good.
Those little chunks were pieces of the tumour breaking off. It was proof that the chemo/rad was still working weeks after my last treatment.
I also began to notice little pieces of my guts in the bowl mixed in with the chunks. Oh my God, something was seriously wrong, I was now shitting out my intestines. I carefully picked the pieces of my intestines out of the toilet with tweezers. I washed them carefully under warm water; pat dried them and wrapped them in a paper towel.
I would need to show Dr. G.
That day I told him I had pieces of my guts that I needed to show him as I reached into my jacket pocket. I unfolded the paper towel and displayed them on his desk. He leaned over slightly while looking over his glasses and then sat back in his chair.
That day I told him I had pieces of my guts that I needed to show him as I reached into my jacket pocket. I unfolded the paper towel and displayed them on his desk. He leaned over slightly while looking over his glasses and then sat back in his chair.
He said nothing.
He continued with the pre-surgery checklist.
I said nothing.
When we were finished and as I got ready to leave, I told him I was surprised he said nothing about my intestines which were still sitting on his desk. I reached over to retrieve them to take home. Afterall, how many people can display their own intestines?
He smiled “Those are not your intestines.”
“Then what are they?” I asked.
“Potato skins” as he opened the door escorting me out to his assistant to get some final forms and requisitions filled out.
Sherry and I had been eating quite a few potatoes over the previous weeks mostly to help me maintain my weight. Instead of buying whole potatoes we were buying bags of the mini spuds and eating them with the skins on. When I got home I immediately checked the potatoes in the fridge with the pieces I had shown the doctor.
They were fuck’n potato skins alright.
Dr. G was bang on.
He continued with the pre-surgery checklist.
I said nothing.
When we were finished and as I got ready to leave, I told him I was surprised he said nothing about my intestines which were still sitting on his desk. I reached over to retrieve them to take home. Afterall, how many people can display their own intestines?
He smiled “Those are not your intestines.”
“Then what are they?” I asked.
“Potato skins” as he opened the door escorting me out to his assistant to get some final forms and requisitions filled out.
Sherry and I had been eating quite a few potatoes over the previous weeks mostly to help me maintain my weight. Instead of buying whole potatoes we were buying bags of the mini spuds and eating them with the skins on. When I got home I immediately checked the potatoes in the fridge with the pieces I had shown the doctor.
They were fuck’n potato skins alright.
Dr. G was bang on.
Here I was picking potato skins out of my shit thinking my guts were disintegrating. I now felt like a total idiot. I am sure Dr. G shook his head in bewilderment when I left his office.
There was now no doubt in my mind he was the best man for the job.
There was now no doubt in my mind he was the best man for the job.
Dr. G would be my surgeon.